About The Books . . .
Skating on the Edge - Doomed to Repeat It -Short Story Collection- NASCAR for Rookie Fans
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'The headless woman walked by again. She was beginning to get on my nerves. She dripped blood all over her velvet gown. I have bad nerves; I get upset when people wander around missing body parts. I think it's rude. A group of Benedictine monks files by, followed by a troop of Boy Scouts. Franz Kafka sat at a table sipping coffee; he appeared to be in a rather sour mood. I've never seen him looking particularly cheerful. I think the headless woman must work somewhere near my office. I keep seeing her.'
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Thus begins the surreal, hilarious, often endearing and always unique novel Skating On The Edge by author d.g.k. goldberg. Skating On The Edge was released by Time Warner on the iPublish imprint. This was goldberg’s first effort to warp the world. It is currently out of print, but may still be found on eBay or other places where literary treasures may be dug up. Find it and buy it. Buy it now you silly wanker, you’re obviously desperate, or you wouldn’t be reading this web page.
Skating on the Edge is the perfect book for poseurs who think they catch every obscure literary reference in the Muppet Show, MTV, the Thursday Next books and English Lit classes at mid-sized universities. It’s also a great gift for those enlightened folks who snicker whenever anyone dares refer to anything as Kafkaesque.
This is the story of a disenchanted spell caster, a feeding-disordered phobic vampire with a penchant for TV talk shows, a militaristic saint, and a surferesque Viking on a vague quest to slaughter annoying by-standers, figure out where love goes once it’s gone and do something about it between "those irritating moments between cappuccino and wine."
If you’ve had a tad too much optimism and redemption in your literature lately or haven’t worn anything except black since 1976 you need to read this book.
A sequel, titled ALL IN GOOD TIME, is currently being edited ans we will be sending it to publishers soon.
...DOOMED TO REPEAT IT
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' ... His hands shielded his face, but cuts and bruises erupte on his face. His nose bled. One eye was already swollen shut. "Well, if he ain't calling me everything but a Chld of God." Brandy whispered under her breath. She scrunched into Layla. Wayne held up his hands. pleading. "Please, please." Blood covered his t-shirt. Two fingers of his right hand bent at a peculiar angle. He was having trouble breathing. Then a polished steel dagger appeared, hovering in the air a foot above Wayne.s chest. "No, no," Layla screamed. "No!" The knife vanished. Breathing raggedly, Wayne stumbled to his feet and walked away from the two women. He didn't even look back. He got into a battered Chevy truck and drove out of the parking lot. Layla put her arm around Brandy. "Let's go by the emergency room and get you checked out." "I told you the ghost goes wherever you go," Brandy said. "I told you." '
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goldberg said "I think it’s about fucking, death, and beer. And why I feel ineffably sad when I listen to bluegrass, bagpipes, and darn near every thing the Hag ever wrote. It may be about this girl I worked with at Southern Music in Hartsville, SC who was the first woman I knew that carried nekkid pictures of herself in her purse. She killed herself, despite looking cute nekkid. The funeral home put blue eye shadow on her left eye, and green on her right.
Or maybe it has to do with madness, guilt, ghosts, and that distant lavender edged horizon at twilight where all the worlds that never were meet and merge.
Read it, then let me know what it’s about. "
Doomed To Repeat It was published by The Design Image Group.
NEW SHORT STORY COLLECTION
Her collection was supposed to have been pubished two years ago but the publisher shut down operations before this could happen. We have been working diligently to have a collection published and should have details about this very soon. The book was originally to be titled WRONG TURNS. When goldberg was asked about the suggested title, she said "The wrong turns comes from my belief that everyone gets all gooey romantic over the road not taken but life is really more a series of wrong terms".
Her son painted this picture, which was to be the original cover. d. g. k. goldberg told us this photo was taken in her kitchen which was a very important room to her since it was where her coffee was made.
cover art, image copyright Jacob David Goldberg-Hilbert
NASCAR FOR ROOKIE FANS
Also, goldberg had written an excellent audio book called NASCAR for Rookie Fans which was published by an audio book published called Drive2Learn. This is the ultimate beginner's guide from a talented writer and major NASCAR fan. Sadly, this is also out of print.
goldberg was a obsessive NASCAR fanatic for years and was incredibly knowledgeable on the subject. She had written articles and intervews for several racing magazines and, in an e-mail to the web designer, once said "One day I just know that I will be arrested for stealing the cut-out of Dale Jr. from a convenience store. I am powerless to prevent this."
Questions about ms. goldberg or this site may be addressed to The
Bloody Web Baron .